Struggle and Growth

2017 reflection - thismommyisreal.com

It’s amazing how fast the year has gone by. Yet, when I think back to the beginning of it, that time seems so far away.  In the beginning of 2017, I was a different person. I was suffering and hoping that changes weren’t so far away.

I had started a new anti-depressant and was given anti-anxiety meds for an as needed basis. I was seeing a psychiatrist for these prescriptions. I was also under the care of a new psychologist, who I had hoped could help where the other therapist could not. I had repeatedly extended my leave from work, because I wasn’t in a position to return.

Even with all that, I had hope. I was stuck, but I was in a position to know that it could all change. Good things could come if I tried. Spoiler alert – I tried and things are so much better.

I could summarize this year no better than stating it was full of struggles and growth. I suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety. It tore me from my former identity and I could not come to terms with what or who I was supposed to be. When I got back to work, I felt out of place. I continued to struggle with motherhood as well. My whole life felt in shambles.

Yet, despite all that, I can still say that 2017 was still a year of growth. Surviving through all those things made me a stronger person. I’m not as afraid of things as I used to be. I was forced to deal with my fears and unhealthy thoughts. I had no choice to but go through difficult situations. In doing this, I found myself stronger than I had been before.

Now, on this final day of the year, I can say proudly that I am no longer suffering from PPD and PPA. I am close to weaning off my medication and I go to therapy for maintenance purposes only. Today is the result of a lot of work and effort. It meant a lot of reconciliation and coming to terms for who I was, why and what lay ahead. Today means that I’m a much stronger person, with more meaning to my life than I thought possible. For once, I am happy with the person I have come to be. I don’t judge as much as I used to, and I find myself being more patient and understanding than before.

I couldn’t come to these terms without the struggle. My growth would not be the same without it. Because of it, I am a better person and I look forward to what I can do in the coming year.

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I want to also thank all of you for helping me on this journey. For a long time, I wanted to find a way to help others. I wanted a way to continue my old love of writing. This blog and your support had been therapeutic, and I will always be grateful for that.

I wish all of you a prosperous and happy 2018. I am looking forward to it!

13 thoughts on “Struggle and Growth

  1. Well done, I’m glad you’ve found your way to the other side. It’s so true, being a mom can be really challenging. I was so unprepared for the emotional ups and downs and I still don’t feel like I have any sort of balance.

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  2. I’m very happy that through the course of the year, you’ve overcome PPD and PPA. It takes a lot of self reflection and you truly are the only one to make yourself come to terms. We all struggle time to time, but afterwards there is clarity and growth. Happy New Year mama. Wishing you all the best in 2018.

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing this! This is something many of us experience but rarely discuss. I am so happy to hear things are much better. Congratulations on your progress! Keep up the good work!

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  4. Your year sounds a lot like mine. Congrats on making it through- ppd is so hard. Sounds like it was definitely a year of growth. Good luck making it through 2018 even better!

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  5. I am happy that you overcame. Motherhood is a struggle at times. It can throw up some things we don’t expect but we always have what it takes to overcome

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  6. That’s amazing, congratulations! I can identify with the struggle, I’m a first time Mum to an 11 week old. I was all about my career before that so being on maternity leave has me confused. Thankfully I’ve been able to go to the gym and get back to running, which is such a great outlet for me to get the stress out. I’ve seen so many emotional benefits in the few short weeks since I joined up. All the best for a happy 2018!

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