Motherless on Mother’s Day

Yesterday, a friend asked how I felt about Mother’s Day. “Do you think of your mother during Mother’s Day typically?” It seemed like a very strange question. Maybe intrusive. Maybe just something out of sheer curiosity from someone who doesn’t understand loss in that way. Still, while the question was strange to think of, the … Continue reading Motherless on Mother’s Day

Choosing Therapy

Not too long ago, I heard of a family that was doubting the need of speech therapy for their young toddler. They were only in the beginning stages, but did not believe it was helping their child. They were considering stopping the therapy altogether. I felt dismayed when I heard this. Yet, I related to … Continue reading Choosing Therapy

2019 Reflections

Everyone does it, but this is something that I've done for years. I remember distinctly sitting on the couch in my elementary school years, writing in my pink My Melody secret diary. It was New Years Eve, and I told myself that I would always remember what I did in the year, what I learned … Continue reading 2019 Reflections

Because of Brianna

I don't remember how I came across her store. I only remember that I liked the atmosphere and variety in it. It didn't feel commercial or general like the big name stores. There was a great feel to it. As a new mom, I was happy that there was a place where I could actually … Continue reading Because of Brianna

An Unexpected Ending

The day began like many others: a flurry of emails, inquiries to respond to, reports and issues to troubleshoot. I had planned to work on the prep for some large upcoming projects. I was sure to make headway on a lot of pending tasks. Then, mid afternoon, I went to a meeting. The next thing … Continue reading An Unexpected Ending

Every Single Word

We glance back and forth and play, but the conversation is one sided. We mime and move in exaggerated motions. I hope for sound. I speak in long, sing-song tones. I gesture and smile. I try my best to coax the "right" response. It never comes. Instead, my young son smiles back at me, and … Continue reading Every Single Word

Surviving the Holidays with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

The holidays are my favorite time of the year. I love what the season represents. I love giving gifts, helping others and being with family and friends. It had always been a special time for me. Yet, that wasn't the case a couple years ago. My son was only a couple months old and I … Continue reading Surviving the Holidays with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

Two Years Later

I remember how I felt back then. I've detailed them in so many different blog entries. I was so scared of being a bad mother - not knowing what to do, not caring enough for my son, even wondering if I was good enough to be anyone's mother. I was afraid that I would never … Continue reading Two Years Later

The Painful Truth

Sometimes, late at night, I'm reminded of this painful truth.  While everyone else is sound asleep, I am awake and alone with the realization of something very certain. Inevitably, tears stream my face. They fall without any accompanying sounds, and I always try to shut my eyes tighter to make them stop.  It's all in … Continue reading The Painful Truth

Was I at Risk for Postpartum Depression?

The beginning was hard. Every week, I went to the support group. I couldn't bring my son with me. I was fearful of being anywhere outside of the home with him. I felt like I had no control.  I felt broken and lost. I cried at every session. I  was confused. Who had I become? … Continue reading Was I at Risk for Postpartum Depression?