Two Years Later

I remember how I felt back then. I've detailed them in so many different blog entries. I was so scared of being a bad mother - not knowing what to do, not caring enough for my son, even wondering if I was good enough to be anyone's mother. I was afraid that I would never … Continue reading Two Years Later

Was I at Risk for Postpartum Depression?

The beginning was hard. Every week, I went to the support group. I couldn't bring my son with me. I was fearful of being anywhere outside of the home with him. I felt like I had no control.  I felt broken and lost. I cried at every session. I  was confused. Who had I become? … Continue reading Was I at Risk for Postpartum Depression?

Not the Favorite

I look at the picture with both feelings of nostalgia and pain. At the time, I had only been a mother for all of two months. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was scared most of the time. And yet, there I was, in a simple photo with a small smile, … Continue reading Not the Favorite

reflection

It was a year and a half ago, but I remember looking in the mirror. Tears streamed down my face. My hair was a mess. My clothes were a mess - I think my nursing tank was on backwards. My eyes spoke volumes. I was tired. I was stressed. I was anxious. I was scared. … Continue reading reflection

Just a Bit Longer

I have never been a fan of medication. I liked the idea that you can take a small pill to take away a temporary headache or pain. But those things were short term and never routine. Anything over a one time event meant something else to me.  It meant a permanent problem. Thus, I incorrectly … Continue reading Just a Bit Longer

Speak Up!

After the recommendation was given, I sat in silence. I didn't want to believe what the doctor was saying. I heard both good and bad things, but after all that I've been through, I didn't want to face another failure or painful thing. A couple agonizing months had already passed. I could do this no … Continue reading Speak Up!

The First Year

Around this time last year, I felt like I needed something new.  I was still recovering from Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Still, I had made great strides in my recovery.  I was able to talk about my feelings with less fear. I had found a great therapist who was teaching me new coping skills. I … Continue reading The First Year

365 Days

It seemed so unfair. I was finally making progress with my recovery from Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. I was finally starting to enjoy motherhood. Yet, I had to leave that all behind and go back to being in the corporate world. It’s hard to believe, but a year ago today, I went back to work … Continue reading 365 Days

Transitioning To a Working Mommy

No matter how long you've been on maternity leave, coming back to work is tough. There are so many changes involved with pregnancy and motherhood. Transition to the workplace doesn't make that easier. Factor in PPD / PPA and you've got a LOT going on. There are so many changes mentally and hormonal to deal … Continue reading Transitioning To a Working Mommy

When Does It Get Better?

It's a question I asked many times. I heard it often in support groups. When you're suffering from Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety, you want this answer more than anything. When will I even feel better? How am I ever going to feel "normal"? My opinion? With time. It's not an easy answer to accept. … Continue reading When Does It Get Better?