Not the Favorite

I look at the picture with both feelings of nostalgia and pain. At the time, I had only been a mother for all of two months. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was scared most of the time. And yet, there I was, in a simple photo with a small smile, … Continue reading Not the Favorite

reflection

It was a year and a half ago, but I remember looking in the mirror. Tears streamed down my face. My hair was a mess. My clothes were a mess - I think my nursing tank was on backwards. My eyes spoke volumes. I was tired. I was stressed. I was anxious. I was scared. … Continue reading reflection

Just a Bit Longer

I have never been a fan of medication. I liked the idea that you can take a small pill to take away a temporary headache or pain. But those things were short term and never routine. Anything over a one time event meant something else to me.  It meant a permanent problem. Thus, I incorrectly … Continue reading Just a Bit Longer

Speak Up!

After the recommendation was given, I sat in silence. I didn't want to believe what the doctor was saying. I heard both good and bad things, but after all that I've been through, I didn't want to face another failure or painful thing. A couple agonizing months had already passed. I could do this no … Continue reading Speak Up!

The First Year

Around this time last year, I felt like I needed something new.  I was still recovering from Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Still, I had made great strides in my recovery.  I was able to talk about my feelings with less fear. I had found a great therapist who was teaching me new coping skills. I … Continue reading The First Year

365 Days

It seemed so unfair. I was finally making progress with my recovery from Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. I was finally starting to enjoy motherhood. Yet, I had to leave that all behind and go back to being in the corporate world. It’s hard to believe, but a year ago today, I went back to work … Continue reading 365 Days

Transitioning To a Working Mommy

No matter how long you've been on maternity leave, coming back to work is tough. There are so many changes involved with pregnancy and motherhood. Transition to the workplace doesn't make that easier. Factor in PPD / PPA and you've got a LOT going on. There are so many changes mentally and hormonal to deal … Continue reading Transitioning To a Working Mommy

When Does It Get Better?

It's a question I asked many times. I heard it often in support groups. When you're suffering from Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety, you want this answer more than anything. When will I even feel better? How am I ever going to feel "normal"? My opinion? With time. It's not an easy answer to accept. … Continue reading When Does It Get Better?

Struggle and Growth

It’s amazing how fast the year has gone by. Yet, when I think back to the beginning of it, that time seems so far away.  In the beginning of 2017, I was a different person. I was suffering and hoping that changes weren't so far away. I had started a new anti-depressant and was given … Continue reading Struggle and Growth

Stolen Memories

At 7 weeks old, she felt like a feather. Her soft cries signaled hunger. She quietly drank from her bottle as I tucked her closer. I looked at her small face and tried to remember - what was this like ? After only but a few minutes, she was passed on to another friend - … Continue reading Stolen Memories