Scatterbrained

I see the dates, but they don’t click. I agree to them, but they don’t commit to memory.

Maybe, it’s because everyday is now the same day. I don’t have the life of a career woman and it only feels as if I’m halfway committing to being a stay at home mom. I have a set schedule daily, made to make me feel like I still can be productive while still “in transition” to my next opportunity.

My mind just can’t keep it together - thismommyisreal.com

The problem is, this schedule, and the tasks they hold, aren’t dynamic. They are the same types of things, without much difference. The similarity and consistency of them make it feel like it’s the same day – on repeat all the time. So much so, that’s it hard for me to distinguish one day from a other. Monday seems like Wednesday. That day could have been Friday, or maybe even a Tuesday. Whatever it was, it was all the same to me.

Recently, this escalated to something else. Because all of the days were the same, the times within that day, or the dates themselves would all blend together. It’s as if I’ve lost the concept of time. I have woken up early to go to a rummage sale – which was scheduled for the following week. I have doubled booked appointments, even after looking at the times, because I didn’t register the conflict. I have written down the wrong appointment times, even after confirming the right times. I’ve forgotten commitments to things I have confirmed more than once.

I am scatterbrained. I am absentminded. I’m not who I used to be.

Realizing this results in a sense of loss – I don’t recognize myself anymore. This is not who I am. I could handle so many things at once, and not lose a step. This isn’t me at all.

It’s tough – it’s more of a symptom of what I’m going through. Surviving this means focusing on things that bring value. It means taking a step back and re-evaluating. Am I doing too much or doing things too quickly ? Am I rushing through things?

How do I go find myself again?

24 thoughts on “Scatterbrained

  1. I can relate with a lot of what you are saying, only mine was the loss of my mom about a year ago. In the weeks after, it just took me a while to slowly find myself again, to find new patterns of being, to rest, to grieve, etc. My brain needed rest, and I couldn’t help that fact. It was really stressful not being able to handle so many things like I normally could. I went through EMDR which helped quite a bit. Sending you a virtual hug. 🙂

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  2. I can totally relate. When I became a first-time mom, I went through these same emotions. Every day felt the same and nothing really seemed to matter, besides my baby of course. What helped me was taking a step back and finding time to be myself again.

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  3. This post saddened me in a way; know that so many people can connect with the struggles you’re going through and that you are not alone. Life may not seem all that you want it to be, but a quote that I hold on to during those phases of my life is, “You can have everything you want, but not all at once.” Keep going and find time for yourself. ❤

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  4. Mombrain! I have it, too! I usually use my phone to send me reminders. I’ve also tried meditating and eating a lot of dessert to clear my head lol I’m not sure the desserts are working, but at least they taste great!

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  5. It’s definitely hard to keep a schedule as a mom. I work from home and what keeps me on tasks definitely a calendar. I use Outlook and also a written planner.

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  6. This is totally #momlife. I thought there was something wrong with me for years after my children were born but then I realized we as moms have so much to keep up with and remember, which is why we tend to be so scatterbrained! So glad I’m not alone!

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  7. I am also scattered brain. I just gave birth to a baby girl late last year, and I am still adjusting to this ‘motherhood role’. I just shifted career, when I got pregnant, now i am facing this dillemma of finding a job once my daughter is ready to go out of home and venture out a bit….hoping for the best, and ready if things don’t come up what I really wanted…we will all be ok

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  8. My daughter is seriously struggling with memory and presence. Things from simple facts to memories spanning years have faded from her memory. I worry about it. I hope your absentmindedness gets better as well.

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  9. It is definitely an adjustment being a stay at home mama instead of a career woman. I can totally relate to being scatterbrained. And having “mombrain”. I don’t have any words of wisdom since I don’t juggle it very well either!

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  10. Ah girl, reading this hit me like a ton of bricks. I have gone through this up until very recently 🙈 I recommend taking some time to connect with yourself, there could be a reason why you are forgetting so many things – maybe deep down you don’t want to do them? Reflect a bit, and memory games helped me in a huge way!

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  11. I dealt with that when I stayed home full time, what helped me was not only my old school paper planner but also, scheduling routine things that were different each day. Monday was library time, Tuesday Legoland, Wednesday dance class, Thursday was open and Friday was the library again. Not only did it give my days some differentiation but it forced me out of the house and to mingle with other moms. Hang in there! xoxo

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