The Judge

I didn’t think much about it until about halfway through the session. Then, I caught it. A look of disapproval and annoyance. I thought I was overreacting. Towards the end of class, you made a comment. You were talking to someone else about their child, but was staring right at me. You said something along the lines of, “Well, at least he isn’t screaming or crying…” At that time, my son was screaming. Loudly. He cried during the entire playgroup. It was his second time. 

I saw you again today. My son was a different child than the first time you saw him.  He laughed, played and tried all the obstacles. He ran and giggled through the activities. He had the time of his life. Yet, I saw the same look of annoyance again. As if he were a disruption.
Pay no attention to that mommy judge! - thismommyisreal.com
Of course, it could be just me. It’s hard to believe that someone would be that involved with someone else’s child over their own. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe that “look” is just your permanent face. Hey, I relate. I suffer from RBF (Resting B*itch Face). Maybe, you and I are twins. 

If this had happened a year ago, your actions would have deeply affected me. I would have been mortified. I would have hated myself. I would have doubted myself as parent. I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye because the shame would have overtaken me. I would label myself an unworthy parent, and a failure. And it would all be because of that judgmental look. 

Not today! I know who I am as a mother. I do my very best to care for my son. I love him in every way possible. I know that his actions are typical of a toddler his age. He screams. He runs. He plays. It’s a play gym.

I found that my ability that ignore this judgement meant something more. I no longer resent myself for how I raise my son. I don’t feel guilty for the choices I make. I don’t see my self as a bad or unfit mother. It took a while, but I’m good. It has made a huge difference in how I react to others and how I raise my son. I’m a better mother now. I don’t care if the typical actions of a toddler bother you.   

So, judge if you will lady. Meanwhile, my son and I will be having the time of our lives. 

16 thoughts on “The Judge

  1. Yes!!!! I absolutely love this. I your face. Power to all the amazing moms out there who don’t give a f*ck! Excuse my French, but your post excites me. I sometimes catch myself feeling guilty and worried about what others say about my 4 year old son. I like how you say, “It took a while, but I’m good.” Not anymore, judgmental mamas, aunts and uncles, lol! I love you for sharing this. xoxo!

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  2. Hateful people are everywhere. They’re frustrating, because nothing can kill confidence and perseverance more quickly than their engagement. Experience has taught me that Nobody knows the “right answer” – the singular path that works. I’ve also found that those that believe they do, are usually the most removed from the situation. Your determination and perspective is commendable!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Before I became a mother I was one of those people that shot judge mental looks at mothers with boisterous children. Now that I’m a mom, oh how I’ve learned !!! Especially today, I had no choice but to bring my 16 month old
    To my writing group meeting which we hold at a cafe. She kept throwing the snacks I give her and would scream every time the YouTube video playing in my iPhone lagged or froze. I was so embarrassed but everyone was so kind and understanding, I wish I was that kind

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  4. I am a firm believer in ignoring others judgments of me as a mother. Kudos to you for doing what is best for your son and not letting someone else’s option dictate your behavior towards your child. *Internet High Five* 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have had the same thing happen to me. It hurt at the moment, more so that someone (an adult) would have the nerve to make an ugly suggestion about my son’s behavior. Then I thought about how I and my son were bigger than her judgment. The momma judging must stop…we are all in this together, and it isn’t easy 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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