Kindness Challenge Week 5: Choosing Kindness

/ Jenn


This week’s challenge asked that we choose kindness in situations where we might otherwise have a different reaction. For me, I have a difficulty in being “kind” in stressful situations or when my feelings or decisions are being challenged.  

I was in situations this week where I made some really bad mistakes. The natural reaction that some people have is to put up a defensive wall. Sometimes, that’s silence. Other times, it’s actions and words. For me, I panic and try to find ways where I’m not at fault. Sometimes, that’s means I’m overly defensive. My voice becomes stern. I might find faults in myself and sometimes others to see where things went wrong. 

This week, I didn’t go that route. I chose to remain calm and really research the root cause. While I did cause part of the problem, I didn’t get defensive. I was open to what others had to say and thanked them for their input. At first, it seems like a bit of a reach for kindness – but it’s not. Being kind also means keeping a calm, open mind when people talk to you about your mistakes. 

Another situation involved interacting with someone that I’m still a little angry with. Hurtful things were said, and we are supposed to move on. I am unfortunately holding a grudge. However, the other person is trying to remedy and be a good person. I said I would accept that and so it’s in my best interest to try. I have to interface with them often so I’m making good efforts to overlook the past and move forward. I find that while it is difficult, it is not as stressing or taxing than the alternative. With time, the kindness will overpower the grudge.

Overall, this week really challenged my personality traits and gut reactions. I think I’m known for raw honesty, but sometimes, that isn’t always a good thing. This week, I learned to reel in the negativity and go with the positive. I’ll definitely have to keep practicing !

💙, jenn

Stock photo from stocksnap.io, artist Lotte Meijer 

33 thoughts on “Kindness Challenge Week 5: Choosing Kindness”

  2. I’m a major (hate to admit it) grudge holder. It’s so hard for me to move past the feeling of being wronged.
    Choosing kindness over holding a grudge would be the ULTIMATE challenge for me…which means I have to try. 🙂
    Thanks for the reminder.

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  3. Great post and message! Yeah, I can relate to being defensive when getting criticized for a mistake, especially a moral mistake. It feels so invalidating, but you are right, when I am open to what others are saying even if it does seem invalidating it helps me not only learn from my mistakes, but understand the other person better.

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  9. Such a beautiful reflection. Thank you for this.

    I share your difficulty hitting “pause” when I’m in the thick of it and tensions are running high. Funny how reactive we can become in those situations, isn’t it? I’m continually amazed that one of the hardest things for me to “do” at those times is to do… nothing. To practice patience.

    Thank you for the encouragement to keep at it!

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  10. Great reminders! I get defensive as well, especially when someone else is being defensive, which can be a vicious cycle. Taking a breath and looking at the root of the issue is easier said than done, but would definitely add more kindness and understanding to a problem.

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  12. What a great (and hard!) challenge. My kids bring out the best and worst in me, and half the time it’s me just needing to be kind in response to them. It’s so easy to be defensive and get angry instead; it’s a constant life challenge to be kind.

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  13. I love this. It’s so easy to get defensive or shut down when you’re angry or even just react negatively. I love that you challenged yourself do this. It’s important to really stop and think about what we’re doing or saying. It’s definitely not always easy and no one is perfect. But this is a great post and a great idea. Love it!

    XOXO
    http://fromunderapalmtree.com/

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  15. I need to work more on this! It’s my mouth I get angry which results in me saying something that I can’t take back!! We need more kind people in the world! Thanks for spreading the love 🙂

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  16. It’s true that you will never ever regret being kind! Thanks for sharing this powerful message.

    Much love,
    Ashley | dearash.com

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  17. This sounds like an awesome challenge. I think that it is so important for people to realize that we have a choice everyday to choose kindness, although it can sometimes be difficult. I can totally relate to this post, and I think that it can be hard to always be kind in every situation because to be honest sometimes people are just dumb! But it is awesome that you are doing this!

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  19. I agree with you that choosing to stay calm instead of choosing defensiveness is a form of showing kindness. You are demonstrating that the other person is worth your effort and consideration. Only when we allow ourselves to take a deep breath and take a step back from a difficult situation, are we capable of letting another point of view into our sight to even consider it (whether we agree with it in the end or not).

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