Surviving a Goodbye

Someone within our family just recently passed away. I didn’t know them too well. I did know of their life, and the struggles they’ve had to endure.  Sadly, they left behind a young child.

My heart broke at the thought of how young this person was – the particular circumstances of their life wasn’t easy. Yet, from what I know, they did their best to provide a healthy and happy environment for their child.  The age of that young child makes their story even more heartbreaking.

Surviving the loss of a loved one - thismommyisreal.com

How do you comprehend the pain that your parent is going through? How do you know what to feel or how to express it? What went through their mind as their parent said their final goodbyes? What happens next? Why did this have to happen?

I thought about my own experiences. I lost my mother in my earlier teens.  I lost my father in my 20s.  No matter the age, the pain was  and is still there. Yet, because of my age, I was able to grasp the reality of things.

I wish I could offer comfort to this child. I would I could say that none of this is their fault.  Nothing that happened is reflective of who they are or what they’ve done.  It’s life, and sometimes, life doesn’t make any sense.

It’s not easy to say goodbye, especially at such a young age.  It’s of no comfort now, but saying farewell to someone doesn’t mean that they are forgotten.  It will hurt a little less as time goes by, and during time, you will learn to cherish the memories and the lessons that were left by that person.  It’s never going to be the same, but you will learn to laugh at the good moments; You’ll also learn that it’s just as acceptable to cry and miss them at other moments.

There’s nothing wrong about seeking solace from others or help.  In fact, that makes you stronger.  It’s not easy to open up about these difficult things, and may make you feel vulnerable.  However, that’s all a part of the healing process.  It’s hard to find people who can relate, or who would know how to help comfort you. But, it doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to anyone.  Talking about it helps tremendously. The grieving process does not have to done alone.

A loss is hard no matter what is said or done.  Each loss is unique and trying.  As adults, we will always struggle with this.  How can a young child really comprehend?  The family member that passed  was about my age.  I couldn’t imagine going through what they did.  I can’t imagine knowing how finite the time here would be, and that within days, I would be gone.  I could not imagine how to say my own farewall to my family and friends, especially to my young child.

We all have to say goodbye, and it’s never going to be easy. It’s what we do to survive it that helps us through the process.

15 thoughts on “Surviving a Goodbye

  1. The loss of a loved one is NEVER easy and some deal better with it than others but I feel that the important thing to remember is that while we live, we show and tell those around us who we care for deeply, that we love them. Make them feel it while we can. I’ve lost important ppl throughout my life and I can’t imagine leaving a little one behind at a tender age. Hopefully those whose care he/she’s been entrusted to encourage communication and expression of their feelings in coping with the loss and offer comfort during this difficult time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It always breaks my heart when a loved one is lost, but especially for the children. A family friend recently passed from cancer leaving her 2 daughters, one about to start high school and the other about to start middle school. My heart aches that they won’t have their mother for these hard, “big steps” in their lives as they grow. I agree with all you said. I’m so sorry for your loss!

    http://www.therookiewife.com

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s such a difficult situation. I have a friend who recently lost her father and having gone through that myself, it’s just important to tell the person that you care and it gets better. Regardless of their age.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so sorry for your loss. No matter how much time has passed, you still remember it. I’ve also gone through it, and as time passed, I’ve accepted it, but it’s still hard.

      Like

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