Truly, I am my own worst enemy. I do not accept compliments. I do not acknowledge my own achievements. I am self-depreciating. I am hardest on myself when I do not meet my own high standards. 

For this week’s challenge, I had to give myself a reprieve. It’s time to stop being so negative about myself and start accepting who I am, and not who I think I’m supposed to be. If I’m not happy with some things, then I also need to be more realistic with what expectations I have for myself. 

This week at work, I was honest with what I could and couldn’t do.  I asked for help when I needed it. I didn’t flinch when something didn’t go exactly as planned. I didn’t dwell on the small things and focused on the more important ones. I let myself enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. I was able to showcase what my strengths were. In doing this, I felt a lot of stress being lifted. 

In my personal life, it was a lot harder. I have gained significant weight post birth due to injury, lack of sleep and stress eating. I didn’t set aside the time to work out and my health was the price. I didn’t want to accept that my blood pressure was not going down or that my jeans were just a little more snug. I couldn’t believe what the numbers were telling me – I had neglected my own well-being. This week, I had enough. 

I can’t deny what’s happened to me. If I want to change it, then I need to accept my current state and be positive that things can and will change. I refuse to be stuck, and I refuse to find fault or excuses because of what’s happened to me. The denial and self-loathing prevented me from making changes. I may not like this current “me”, but I have to accept it in order to change it. What’s the point of trying make changes in something that you don’t believe is an issue? 

This week, I made effort to find ways to heal and work through my injury (safely). I am making conscious efforts on my food choices and I am trying to go back to a reasonable exercise schedule. I am trying to incorporate my new life with a healthy lifestyle.  I accept that my life has changed and thus, so does my approach to healthy living. Somehow, saying this with intent feels more effective. Strangely, I feel at peace with what is. 

Self-Acceptance is not immediate. It has to become habit and thus, had to be practiced until it becomes second nature. I am looking forward to continuing this!

💙